Why You're Not Happy

Happy New Year everyone! I know, I know, I've neglected this blog for quite some time. Been busy lately with another career - I am managing 4 careers concurrently ;) If being a student is a career in itself, that makes it 5. Oh well, I put this to myself and I think it's one cause for not being happY.

I came across this article about common barriers to personal happYness and fulfillment and how to overcome them. In brief, there are 6 major barriers:

1. Complexity (Solution: Simplify)
2. A Breakneck Pace (Solution: Take a Pause)
3. Negativity (Solution: Let go)
4. Despair (Solution: Stay hopeful)
5. Suppressing sadness (Solution: Feel the real)
6. Navel-gazing (Solution: Connect with others)

I basically try to fight these barriers but of course, I am only just human. One friend told me he was simplifying everything in his life, and he is hopeful this would make him happY. I wish him luck, and I hope I could do the same. A line from the same article struck me, that "happiness is a little like falling in love, that you can't make it happen." True, I've fallen in love without realizing it. I am happY at times without putting effort into it. But as they say, some good things never last. It's such an irony to have found one of the sources of your happYness, only to lose it in a bittersweet ending. The question now is, how does one sustain happYness? or better yet, how does one become happYer? That's the whole point of my quest. And this new year brings hope for me...

For the full article, click this link.

The 8th day of the 8th month in 2008

There are just too many 8s today! But I was quite busy because we have a wedding shoot tomorrow. So I ended up coming to bed early and not attending any party at all! Oh well, there'll be other times. What's with the date anyway? Couples getting married, people organizing parties, etc. So next year will be 9-9-9. I keep joking to my friends that 12-12-12 will be reserved for my wedding date!!! Like duh! I better find a hubby first?!

Anyway, still a busy bee. Not attending my PhD classes tomorrow but I am up for 2 reports next Saturday. Oh well, at least these activities keep my mind off a certain someone hehe ;)

Also, just bought 2 books from my favorite authors - Brida by Paulo Coehlo and The Appeal by John Grisham. I reserve the plot and my commentaries for my upcoming posts. So excited to finish reading them...better reading material than my stratman and business ethics books hehe ;)

A Novel of Temptation

Once again, I put down another Paulo Coehlo book, entitled "The Devil and Miss Prym", and ponders the same question: "Are human beings, in essence, good or evil?" I'd like to believe that we are inherently good, heck, I even included it in my 10 Commandments to HappYness. Personally, amidst the pain and hurt that other people may inflict on me, whether intentional or not, I couldn't bring myself to hate them. If I dwell on the evils in this world, I would only end up feeling depressed and helpless. I wouldn't also be a hypocrite and say that I am a really good person, because I've done things that I am not proud of, and I may have caused misery to other people too.

The novel is indeed about temptation, whether to murder someone from the village in exchange for ten gold bars and for Miss Prym (the lead character) to take one bar of gold and leave everything behind. Our daily temptations are not as lucrative as these, yet we still struggle, whether to do good or evil. Again, it all boils down to choice.

Moreover, the book tackles about following your dreams, and getting what you want out of life. I'd like to share a few lines which hit me:

"...there are two things that prevent us from achieving our dreams: believing them to be impossible or seeing those dreams made possible by some sudden turn of the wheel of fortune, when you least expected it. For at that moment, all our fears suddenly surface: a fear of setting off along a road heading who knows where, the fear of a life full of new challenges, the fear of losing forever everything that is familiar."

"...whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is that you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed."

Sometimes I am confused of what it is that I really want, but when you take a closer look, you'll know what or who your heart desires. The only hard part is the "how" and answering the question, "Is it worth it?"

After all, what is happiness?

I have yet to finish "The Witch of Portobello", which is the story of a woman named Athena, and the central question posed by Paulo Coehlo (one of my favorite authors) is this: "How do we find the courage to always be true to ourselves - even if we are unsure of who we are?"

At this point, I'd like to share an excerpt, which pertains to happYness. These lines came from Edda (Athena's teacher):

"Everything is at once so simple and so complicated! It's simple because all it takes is a change of attitude; I'm not going to look for happiness anymore. From now on, I'm independent; I see life through my eyes and not through other people's. I'm going in search of the adventure of being alive."

"And it's complicated: Why am I not looking for happiness when everyone has taught me that happiness is the only goal worth pursuing? Why am I going to risk taking a path that no one else is taking? After all, what is happiness?"

"Love, they tell me. But love doesn't bring and never has brought happiness. On the contrary, it's a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; it's sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if we're doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstasy and agony."

"All right then, peace. Peace? If we look at the Mother, she's never at peace. The winter does battle with the summer, the sun and the moon never meet, the tiger chases the man, who's afraid of the dog, who chases the cat, who chases the mouse, frightens the man."

"Money brings happiness. Fine. In that case, who earns enough to have a high standard of living would be able to stop working. But then they're more troubled than ever, as if they were afraid of losing everything. Money attracts money, that's true. Poverty might bring unhappiness, but money won't necessarily bring happiness."

"I spent a lot of my life looking for happiness; now what I want is joy. Joy is like sex - it begins and ends. I want pleasure, I want to be contented, but happiness? I no longer fall into that trap."

"When I'm with a group of people and I want to provoke them by asking that most important of questions - Are you happy? - and they all reply: Yes I am. Then I ask, But don't you want more? Don't you want to keep growing? And they all reply: Of course. Then I say, So you're not happy. And then they change the subject."

True, ain't it?

Leap Year!

This day will not come again 'til after 4 years...so we're celebrating it with a bang! Part of my happYness project is to get involved again in my youth leadership organization - Junior Chamber International. And tonight, we are the host for the said leap year party! The past week has been hectic, with preparations and all. Not to mention a situation in our biz where we have been awake 'til the wee hours of the morning for several days to deliver a major project. All in all, it's crazy happY!

One more thing, I feel so connected with someone. Just last week, there was this incident where I was experiencing really intense emotions for this one person, and I guess I was transmitting that to the universe. It ended up that a series of unfortunate accidents has been happening with him all along. Now that is not something I should be happy about! But what makes me happY is the intensity, and the connection that we still have. The bond that I thought was lost was still there. He even said that I was sharing his frustrations that fateful day. I guess I was...and it turned to be a whole new experience for both of us. I know there will come a time that we will talk about 'us' or whatever is left of it. But right now, I just want to acknowledge the emotions. I still do love him, and it gives me this warm feeling inside ;)

What this happYness project is all about...

Someone close to my heart has introduced me to this whole concept of happYness - not that I was unhappy when I met him...I guess a little uptight and not really being free. Through the months that we've grown close to each other, I slowly grasped the concept and I am now ready to start my own happYness project - without him. You must understand that for quite some time, I was blinded with the thought that he is the only person who could make me truly happY, or that he is the only source of my happYness. And it hit me just recently...after so many struggles and emotional turmoils...that happYness is a daily decision...and that there is really no one to help me be happY but "me".

I am a newbie to this happYness thing, but there is one blogger, Gretchen Rubin (now writing the book "The Happiness Project" due in 2009), who is more adept on this topic. Her blog, Happiness Project, is an inspiration to me in this endeavor. In the coming days, I shall post my own happYness commandments, and other stuff to kick-off this project. Writing this blog in itself puts a smile to my face. What a way to start the new year ;)