Today I had a few lapses on my own happYness commandments. Which ones did I break? Here's a run-through:
# 2. Take your happY self with you wherever you go - I left home late in the afternoon already, and I think I forgot to bring this one important thing. I put in all the gadgets I need in my handbag but I left my happY self somewhere in the house. And my friends noticed that I was not my usual self when I met them for coffee...
# 3. Think happY thoughts - When we were already on the coffee shop, I was forcing myself to go to that special place. For whatever reason, I just couldn't bring myself to do this.
# 10. Acknowledge negative feelings, then move on - Yes folks! I cried myself to sleep and I think I took these negative feelings even into my dreams. Again, they were of misery, longing, disappointment and resentment. How I really wish I could have peace of mind...
Well, I hope I don't go breaking any more of my own rules. Again, I am only just human. I know there will be other times like this, but it does not mean my entire happYness project is ruined. I am still taking this head-on ;)
Monday, January 14, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
My 10 Commandments to HappYness
Today I was thinking of my own 10 commandments to happYness. Some of these I am recycling from principles I subconsciously live by:
1. HappYness is a daily decision. If you have a choice to be happY or be sad, choose to be happY. Don't say "I have no choice"...because you have...almost always ;)
2. Take your happY self with you wherever you go. Forget your mobile phone, handkerchief or lip balm, but don't ever leave your home without your happY self. Bring it anywhere you go, because I am sure it will be contagious.
3. Think happY thoughts! When you are about to feel miserable, or on the brink of tears, go to that special place which contains happY thoughts. Think of those moments where you felt truly happY. Keep coming back to that place whenever you feel down. Before you know it, a smile just might escape your lips...long before that first tear will fall.
4. Hope for the best, but expect nothing. Easy to say, but so hard to do. It is human nature that when they give, they expect something in return (like in love). But this should not be the case, because setting too high expectations from people leads to disappointments and frustrations, and therefore...to misery. And you do not want that. Again, you have a choice to be happY.
5. Value all your relationships. As much as possible, maintain healthy relationships with all the people around you. Do not nurture past hurts and pains. Do not also burn bridges along the way. Learn to forgive and forget, as they say. Work towards building lifetime bonding and friendships and try not to gain any enemies.
6. Believe in your heart that people are inherently good. Some people may have hurt you, but do not think that all people are going to...still give your trust to those who deserve it. Only when you see people in this positive light will you be able to gain new friends and deepen your relationships.
7. Say what you mean, mean what you say. People are not mind readers, so say what you really mean to say. Do not go in circles and cover up for any emotions you are currently feeling towards them. And when you do say it, mean it (like when you say "Sorry" or "I love you"). Look the person in the eye and know in your heart that you mean every word. You do not say things for the sake of pleasing the other person. Also, stand by your word. Have a follow through with your actions.
8. In everything that you do, be free! Make your choices in life fairly simple. Always try to be fair. And if you are trapped between your feelings and what other people think is right, go for whatever makes you happY...unless you want everybody to be happY for you except for you being happY for yourself.
9. If anyone or anything is not worth fighting for, let go! If someone or something is taking all of your strength, if it's causing you too much pain and if it's making you ignore everyone and everything else, make sure it's all worth it, otherwise, let go. Do not be afraid to lose that person or thing. Remember not to get too attached, because they can only give you temporary happYness.
10. Acknowledge negative feelings, then move on. Like earthly possessions, do not get too attached with negative feelings. Yes, you have the right to feel them, then acknowledge that you have indeed felt them. After that, move on. Tomorrow will be a new day and there is no point keeping them with you while you sleep ;)
1. HappYness is a daily decision. If you have a choice to be happY or be sad, choose to be happY. Don't say "I have no choice"...because you have...almost always ;)
2. Take your happY self with you wherever you go. Forget your mobile phone, handkerchief or lip balm, but don't ever leave your home without your happY self. Bring it anywhere you go, because I am sure it will be contagious.
3. Think happY thoughts! When you are about to feel miserable, or on the brink of tears, go to that special place which contains happY thoughts. Think of those moments where you felt truly happY. Keep coming back to that place whenever you feel down. Before you know it, a smile just might escape your lips...long before that first tear will fall.
4. Hope for the best, but expect nothing. Easy to say, but so hard to do. It is human nature that when they give, they expect something in return (like in love). But this should not be the case, because setting too high expectations from people leads to disappointments and frustrations, and therefore...to misery. And you do not want that. Again, you have a choice to be happY.
5. Value all your relationships. As much as possible, maintain healthy relationships with all the people around you. Do not nurture past hurts and pains. Do not also burn bridges along the way. Learn to forgive and forget, as they say. Work towards building lifetime bonding and friendships and try not to gain any enemies.
6. Believe in your heart that people are inherently good. Some people may have hurt you, but do not think that all people are going to...still give your trust to those who deserve it. Only when you see people in this positive light will you be able to gain new friends and deepen your relationships.
7. Say what you mean, mean what you say. People are not mind readers, so say what you really mean to say. Do not go in circles and cover up for any emotions you are currently feeling towards them. And when you do say it, mean it (like when you say "Sorry" or "I love you"). Look the person in the eye and know in your heart that you mean every word. You do not say things for the sake of pleasing the other person. Also, stand by your word. Have a follow through with your actions.
8. In everything that you do, be free! Make your choices in life fairly simple. Always try to be fair. And if you are trapped between your feelings and what other people think is right, go for whatever makes you happY...unless you want everybody to be happY for you except for you being happY for yourself.
9. If anyone or anything is not worth fighting for, let go! If someone or something is taking all of your strength, if it's causing you too much pain and if it's making you ignore everyone and everything else, make sure it's all worth it, otherwise, let go. Do not be afraid to lose that person or thing. Remember not to get too attached, because they can only give you temporary happYness.
10. Acknowledge negative feelings, then move on. Like earthly possessions, do not get too attached with negative feelings. Yes, you have the right to feel them, then acknowledge that you have indeed felt them. After that, move on. Tomorrow will be a new day and there is no point keeping them with you while you sleep ;)
Saturday, January 5, 2008
What this happYness project is all about...
Someone close to my heart has introduced me to this whole concept of happYness - not that I was unhappy when I met him...I guess a little uptight and not really being free. Through the months that we've grown close to each other, I slowly grasped the concept and I am now ready to start my own happYness project - without him. You must understand that for quite some time, I was blinded with the thought that he is the only person who could make me truly happY, or that he is the only source of my happYness. And it hit me just recently...after so many struggles and emotional turmoils...that happYness is a daily decision...and that there is really no one to help me be happY but "me".
I am a newbie to this happYness thing, but there is one blogger, Gretchen Rubin (now writing the book "The Happiness Project" due in 2009), who is more adept on this topic. Her blog, Happiness Project, is an inspiration to me in this endeavor. In the coming days, I shall post my own happYness commandments, and other stuff to kick-off this project. Writing this blog in itself puts a smile to my face. What a way to start the new year ;)
I am a newbie to this happYness thing, but there is one blogger, Gretchen Rubin (now writing the book "The Happiness Project" due in 2009), who is more adept on this topic. Her blog, Happiness Project, is an inspiration to me in this endeavor. In the coming days, I shall post my own happYness commandments, and other stuff to kick-off this project. Writing this blog in itself puts a smile to my face. What a way to start the new year ;)
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